It is now the fourth day of this 30-day blogging challenger. As stated in previous posts, I am using writing prompts to build my habit. Today’s prompt is on “how mental health impacts physical health.” This one speaks to me as a person who has often struggled with maintaining a healthy weight. Mental health often impacts everything that we do. It has been a struggle to do anything at times with my introverted personality and existential dread. My biggest block for habit changes comes from a lack of patience. I had always tried to stick to plans or diets without any success.
I was so focused on building mass or having a certain look that I would often sabotage my plans. Skipping rest days and having an improper diet often delayed any progress I was making. Further drinking and weed use didn’t bring me any closer to my fitness goals either. I just didn’t have the mental fortitude to make the commitment that a fit body required.
Changing the mindset: Don’t try to be fit, try to build a habit.
In the spring of 2020, I decided that I wanted to build a fitness habit. I had landed my first job as a refurbishment technician for a local charity. The job would involve a lot of physical activity. I would have to strip down old components from donated computers, catalogue the components and place them in storage until we got an order. It was using pump trucks, weigh scales, wrapping machines and disposing of packaging material. Not too bad, but not what one thinks of when working in tech.
My physical activity at the time was walking to my job instead of taking the bus the whole route. It was a good way to clear my head and avoid conflict over masking at the time. I found the two to three-mile walks refreshing. No crowds, no masks, no confrontational people. It was peaceful. The movement got me out of my head. Sure I was miserable at the job, but the walks are what I looked forward to daily.
It was during my walks that I had my epiphany. Having an end goal kept throwing me off building the habit itself. Whether it was art, exercise, schooling etc, the thought of ‘the end’ terrified me. I didn’t know what the end would look like in any of these endeavours. That’s why it was so easy to procrastinate and abandon projects in the past.
I like the discovery and challenge of doing something new, but completion sabotages my attempts. Accepting that reality, a lot of my past started to make sense. I was afraid to complete things because I had never completed anything before.
With that in mind, I knew I had to make a mindset shift. Goals and plans weren’t going to work for me, habits would work for me.
How did I shift from goal to habit?
Instead of setting a goal for a certain time, I decided that I had to attempt that habit that day. A simple shift, but it took me a decade to finally accomplish it. Walking made fasting easier, fasting made drinking more water easier and drinking more water while fasting and walking made weight loss easier. All of these small steps compounded one another. After several months of this experiment, I went from250 lbs to 200 lbs by the fall of 2020. That was the lightest I had ever been.
The small habits gradually built up over time and that’s how I found success with my weight loss. I had finally found something that had worked for me.
What were my major mental blocks?
The need for instant gratification and the drudgery of the routine are the main obstacles whenever I try to accomplish things. As of writing, my weight is back up to 270lbs. A remote job, stress from mandates ending and weed abuse will do that. I’m taking another break from weed and decided to use yoga as a replacement habit. So far I’ve completed day one of a 30-day yoga challenge this morning. I was actually surprised that I can still touch my toes….yay? Further, since the weather has warmed up, I can start walking again on breaks and I’m starting to fast again(16 to 20 hours seems to work for me). It’s my hope that these small steps will once again add up and I can see a reduction in weight again.
Now if I can just start the art habits again……
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