I am trying a new approach to writing. I believe it will be helpful if I spend a few hours or days planning out what it is that I want to write. For a time there were many subjects that I wished to write about, but have never been able to fully commit to task. I know that writing is compensatory action for existing within the system of white inferirocracy. It is with that acknowledged…
It’s been more than a month since my father passed. I no longer grieve his absence, for his memory lives on within my mother, my brother and myself. We are all proof of his existence of sixty-seven years on this planet. Although he only lived half of his potential lifespan, the chronic health conditions and system of white inferiorization that robbed him of his remaining time; as the system does. In reading and reflecting on…
The post title is self-explanatory, but I reiterate, I need to make writing my income source. I’m am too tired of trying to fit into the mould of the traditional career path. I have realized that this idealized concept of self-discovery through employment is nothing more than another lie used to appease the masses. I have written before on how my personality is shaped by the white inferiority complex system in which I am forced…
I’m afraid of people In a previous post, I mentioned I’m starting a tolerance break to have a better understanding of my mental state and how my awareness of my racialized position affects everything that I do. As I’m not any sort of social scientists I do not have the accurate vocabulary to categorize myself. I can only use terms of my own experience and understanding. My understanding is that my racialized identity predicates my…
I am attempting another THC tolerance break. It has gotten to the point where I am no longer feeling the effects at any dose. Though I have tried in the past few weeks to stop, I failed.Maybe by journaling about the experience, my thoughts could be less toxic. Initial thoughts I know that my cannabis use is one of the reasons that I feel existential dread. The feeling I get while high is preferable because…
The Ealry Morning Thoughts Feeling much better this morning. Woke up at a reasonable hour and did a yoga routine.I have a couple of hours before the job and going to attempt to draw for a bit.In doing these writings I am free to examine my thoughts more clearly. Really stopping and reflecting on my situation, it isn’t as bad as others have it. Being aware of this causes me feelings of guilt for…
Trying to write my thoughts out for the rest of the week. Woke up at 4 today. Got to 180 cylinders and finished a few more forms on Bo. Reuploaded Tano to HF following guidelines. It’s 2 months before my GCP exam, so I start to look over my notes again. I haven’t been focusing on language this morning. It feels kind of difficult because my mind is elsewhere. I still have an hour and…
In trying to keep on track with my writing goals, I’ve decided to resume the medium writing prompts. For today, I’m to write about “something I could not do”. For me it was working as a cook. In my past post I have made it very clear I have no love of cooking. Food serivce is the most racialized of all employment. An employment, that drove me to alcoholism and suicidal ideation. With those…
Continuing from the last article post, I am writing today’s prompt. A lesson I had to learn the hard way was the difference between education and being educated. If you read the last sentence, you may feel that the two are one in the same. I had also thought that way form a majority of my life. The reasoning behind that thinking is the way the education system is set up in North America. As…
This is one of my insomnia post. I’ve been awake since 10pm the prior evening. Thoughts always racing, never quieting. My drawing a blank. Not because I had a bad day, it was actually quite productive. I accomplished the art goals I set out. I posted my sketches for critique on the communities I frequent. I’ve gained more confidence in using Manga Studio 5.Autonomy, being left alone to focus and draw all day. Finally getting…